You’re Exhausted and Unhappy. It’s Time to Let Go.
“We don’t let go of anything until we have exhausted all the possible ways that we might keep holding on to it.” - William Bridges
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Chip Conley's daily blog: Thoughts on the art of living
“We don’t let go of anything until we have exhausted all the possible ways that we might keep holding on to it.” - William Bridges
Continue
In the last couple of posts, I’ve advocated that editing is a supreme form of prioritization. While true, on occasion, it may also lead you to miss the opportunity staring you in the face.
If we’re running a marathon, we better not be carrying extra baggage. Of course, this is easier said than done. The first half of our life is often about adding and accumulating, and not just possessions, or friends, or romantic relationships. Or even the size of our families.
The Oxford Dictionary defines middle age as 45-65, so that was initially our age requirement at the Modern Elder Academy. But those linguistic scholars don’t live in Silicon Valley, Hollywood, or Madison Avenue, where people begin feeling old in their mid-30s, a fact that is compounded by a corporate culture that is obsessed with DQ (digital intelligence) over EQ (emotional intelligence).
I was twelve years old when I first heard this survival tip from a wilderness ed instructor. “If you’re ever lost at night and don’t have a compass, you can find your way back with a sewing kit and a magnet.”
For the first time in history, technology has evolved in a way that can allow us to become more human again. Our species is unique in that humans survive not just by passing on our genes, but also by passing on our wisdom before death. While our genome preserves our species, our wisdom evolves our human heritage. And just like DNA is a unique biological human marker, wisdom is unique to the body that accumulated it.
Plato suggested, “You can learn more about someone in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” One key lesson of our Modern Elder Academy is the value of letting our mirror neurons play dance together. The two-minute video below, shot at my home in Baja, outlines some of the reasons why I think midlife requires an openness to feel new and awkward. Click "Read More" to watch the video. Hope you enjoy it.
A friend in his mid-40s recently lost his Silicon Valley job. He felt like he was being put out to pasture like a lame horse, which immediately wounded his pride and put him into a confidence crisis. He’s not alone. More and more people are seeing their futures put out to past-ure. The question is: what to do?
A friend in her mid-40’s wanted some career advice. She’s developed some impressive leadership wisdom, but also has taken a sojourn to pursue passions the past few years. Now she feels it’s time to start making money again, only she feels like a square peg in a round hole job market. Her dilemma is a common one.
Nature is a remarkable teacher, and we use her lessons all the time at the Modern Elder Academy. The fine art of rock balancing can teach us a lot about mentoring. Rocks are precariously sturdy yet fragile, inert yet living, and they have the capacity to fit together if you know how to match-make the stones.
Meditation master Chogyam Trungpa suggests, “Self-deception often arises because you are afraid of your own intelligence and afraid you won’t be able to deal properly with your life. You are unable to acknowledge your innate wisdom. Instead, you see wisdom as a monumental thing outside yourself.
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