It is now early November 2020, and has been a little more than two weeks since the passing of my 88-year-old father Joseph Cardinale. It was both sad to see my father pass away as well as a reminder that each of us will one day shrug off these mortal coils. No matter your religious or spiritual belief, we all viscerally understand that each of us has a start date as well as an end date on this little blue rock.

"The developmental demands of this newly awakening self are enormous, but they are mostly overlooked in our culture. While the awakening of early adulthood, which are mostly about identity, are culturally supported with rituals and celebrations - weddings, graduations, ordinations, baptisms - the more subtle spiritual awakenings of the middle years are culturally invisible." Stephen Cope

Barbara Ehrenreich is a super-sober author. Her bestselling books include “Bait and Switch: The (Futile) Pursuit of the American Dream,” “Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America,” “Fear of Falling: The Inner Life of the Middle Class,” and “The Worst Years of Our Lives: Irreverent Notes from a Decade of Greed.”

You’ve probably read this or heard it from some sage on stage. It’s often a motivational speaker trying to convince you that you’ll be happier, better looking or more successful if you junk the losers in your life. Yes, there’s some research that supports this premise, but I’d like to expand this thinking beyond the surface-level point of happiness, beauty, and wealth. Let’s reframe the question:

After my husband died, I spent a year alone on our farm before I sold it and had to leave. Neighbours, friends and family, especially my daughter and stepson were kind, caring and respectful of my solitude. Days alone in my big garden were painfully sad, beautiful and reflective.

David Whyte is one of my favorite poet/philosophers. In this practical ruminating essay, he outlines 10 questions that have no right to go away including “Do I know how to have a real conversation?” and “Am I too inflexible in my relationship to time?” But, my favorite is his question that defines today’s post and his juicy gems below.

I’m not sure if it’s the pandemic times we live in or the age that I’m inhabiting, but I’ve noticed each morning I’m consulting the Obituary section of the paper before the Sports page. Victor Hugo suggested, “40 is the old age of youth, and 50 is the young of old age.” So, what the heck is 60?

I peeked at my journal entries from six months ago and was blown away by what I was experiencing as sheltering-in-place unfolded. In a moment of what must have been sheer despair, I scribbled, “I’m looking forward to what’s sure to be virtually non-existent.”

If Gilda Radner’s Emily Litella were still living, she might have uttered this question given all the finger pointing at pundits and pollsters this week who seemed to be hiding behind their “margin of error.” How much margin of error does your profession allow?

In a post from a few months ago, I outlined why reading John W. Gardner’s ruminations on public policy, leadership and life have been so valuable for me. He was a strong advocate for citizen participation and founded the Common Cause organization. His book “On Leadership” was particularly valuable in my early process of becoming an adult leader.