Midlife

When I was in San Francisco for our recent MEA alum reunion, I recalled a college memory of me trying to drive a stick shift on Russian Hill with my freaked-out girlfriend by my side. We had come up from Palo Alto for a weekend and borrowed a friend's car—manual transmission and all.

I waved goodbye to my friends and headed off, in search of the villa. After only 5 minutes of navigating the medieval streets of Orvieto (Italy), things weren't going well. I stopped, took a deep breath, stared at my map, then turned both it and myself to face a new direction.

While I did appreciate Carrie Bradshaw’s wordsmithing wisdom and ability to turn a phrase, I was never a big-time Sex and the City evangelist. So, I’m curious how some of you are vibing with the show’s new "And Just Like That" comedy-drama series, 17 years after their last reunion?

As lifespans continue to lengthen, it is inevitable that people will have the opportunity to do more. It is also likely that they will need to work longer. This will likely lead to the emergence of new life stages, as happened with teenagers and retirees which were both 20th century creations.

“The male midlife crisis is the stuff of clichés and Hollywood tropes: red sports cars, leather pants, and perky paramours. The female version, however, is talked about much less. Many of its symptoms—like sleeplessness, sadness, and anxiety—are chalked up to perimenopause. While that physiological transition, with all its hormonal fluctuations, can certainly bring emotional upheaval, a woman’s midlife crisis is often more complex, with cultural forces and psychological triggers at play.” Dina Cheney, Health Magazine

My life’s present state seems like a study in contrasts. Depending on which expert you cite, with my 40th birthday approaching I am either the first of the Millennials or the last of Generation X. Perhaps that’s why it feels like I am straddling ‘youth’ and ‘midlife’ or, more accurately, occupying them both at the same time.

Being a midwife must be a glorious and strenuous calling, helping birthing mothers bring a precious, new life into the world. In conversations with my friend Richard Rohr, he told me that midlife is almost like our second birth, the time when an adult’s operating system shifts from the ego to the soul. Here’s an excerpt from something he recently wrote:

I read a book a long, long time ago by former NBA star Jerry Lucas. Damn, what was the name of that book? Oh, yes, it was "The Memory Book."

I’ve long been a fan of Financial Times writer Lucy Kellaway’s work with her sharp British wit and unvarnished insight.

"Everyone knows conventional wisdom about metabolism: People put pounds on year after year from their 20s onward because their metabolisms slow down, especially around middle age. Women have slower metabolisms than men. That’s why they have a harder time controlling their weight. Menopause only makes things worse, slowing women’s metabolisms even more. All wrong, according to a paper published Thursday in Science."