Aging

Over the last five days of July, the media shouted “breaking news” that Paul Sorvino (83), Tony Dow (77), Pat Carroll (95), Nichelle Nichols (89), and Bill Russell (88) had passed away. These sad news breaks came in one-a-day between July 26-31.

I love my father, and it’s been a joy seeing him, at nearly 85, be such a foundational part of our MEA community in Baja when he visits me twice a year.

With a twinkle in my wrinkle, I told Ingrid Summerfield I would remember this day for the rest of my life. We were both in Baja just 17 days before she passed away. Ingrid was the one who taught me the hospitality biz. She was a pioneer in seeing the potential of San Francisco's Hayes Valley.

In an era when Americans are arguing about life beginning at conception or first breath, I would suggest adult life begins at the half-century mark. It’s when the butterfly emerges from its chrysalis.

I’ve had the pleasure of participating in and co-organizing the MEA Corazon Third Act Discussion Group over the past year or so, along with Pat Whitty, Stuart Evans, and others. Our monthly topics have led to some interesting and very relevant discussions to all of us as we age.

TED speaker and MEA Sabbatical Sessions teacher Ashton Applewhite is a fierce activist slaying the last socially-acceptable “ism”: Ageism. She writes: “The sooner growing older is stripped of reflexive dread, the better equipped we are to benefit from the countless ways in which it can enrich us.”

When I read this CNN story about five guys from Southern California who’d captured themselves in the same photo at a lake house every five years for 40 years, I immediately thought back to my three best friends in high school: Alan, Eric, and Mike.

"We had our chance." That was how a childhood friend of mine, who'd just turned 62, rationalized why he accepted the ageism he was now experiencing in searching for a job. Yes, he was frustrated by it all, especially given he was a straight white male, and this was the first time he'd had a target on his back due to an "ism." But it was eerie how he blindly accepted the ageism he was experiencing as an understandable rule of society.

Here’s a question for you: Do you worry less about how you look after age 50, or are you at a time in your life where you are giving more attention to your appearance?

“Aging is no accident. It is necessary to the human condition, intended by the soul. We become more characteristic of who we are simply by lasting into later years; the older we become, the more our true natures emerge. Thus, the final years have a very important purpose: the fulfillment and confirmation of one’s character.” - James Hillman, The Force of Character and the Lasting Life