Chip Conley

As I outlined in this earlier post on “How to Become Wiser Starting Today,” one of my young CEO learning breakthroughs happened when I committed to writing in my “Wisdom Book” each weekend. The first of 52 boutique hotels we created was a rock ‘n roll motel. It was called The Phoenix. It had failure written all over it. We struggled in our first couple of years, even as I tried all the classic niche marketing approaches.

They often say your friends and companions are reflections of you. Most of the time, this is a good thing. However, we all know those friends who can make you feel like you’re in a demented House of Mirrors. You feel fat, elongated, stupid, judgmental. Hopefully, by the second half of life, you learn whose reflection you want to emulate.

Thank you, Seth. Being a friend is offering a witness to wisdom. For 37 years, I’ve had a front-row seat. You taught me that success is not a destination; it’s a way of being. You also taught me that to be successful, we must be useful. And it helps if we’re also remarkable, even if that means we’re a “purple cow” (otherwise we’ll end up invisible in a world filled with distractions).

In most companies, institutional wisdom walks out the front door daily, through retirement, layoffs, or ⏤ most often ⏤ when experienced, older workers start to feel irrelevant. A balance sheet can’t measure the loss of these culture-bearers who have more than just the know-how, but also the know-who that often helped the company get to where it is today.

Our language defines our reality. As we enter a new decade, here are a few words or phrases that carry too much 20th century cultural baggage. It might be time to let them go!

Would you invest in a business that has an 80% failure rate and lasts only about 45 days? Well, that defines the effectiveness of our average New Year’s resolution. Some pundits say you can improve your odds by making sure your resolutions are SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Results-Based, and Time-Oriented. But smart isn’t necessarily wise.

It ain’t what you think. Not talking sex here. I’m referring to your “Occupation” which has a secondary definition as “the action, state, or period of occupying or being occupied by military force.” Is that your relationship with work? Is your business really just “busy-ness” or, worse, a hostile takeover of your soul?

Attain: “to achieve through effort” Attune: “to adjust as to be harmonious” Atone: “to make reparations for a sin, crime, or error” At one: “in a state of harmony or accord”

Ever imagine what the love child of academics Mihaly Czcsikszentmihalyi and Carol Dweck would look like? I’m sure that led to a resounding, “No, Chip, I’m not a ginormous geek like you.”

We measure our days by what we do. We measure our lives by who we are. Our daily “to-do” list is stuffed full of urgency. I feel such a rush when I’ve crossed off the last item on my list (i.e, picking up my dry cleaning). At the end of the day, though, it’s just a sugar rush.